About
HEY HEY HEY!!! 
hello and welcome to my blog - hehehe .. which I actually made for you guys that i was allowed to get to know during the last 9 months!!
During these 9 months I met a lot of great people from all around the world - amazing people, amazing friends!!
It was too great that I had the chance to go a part of my way with them - with you guys!!
And I so appreciate that I can call you guys my friends!!
This webblog is a way to try to be able to give a little -- to not have to care so much about the time difference 
yeah -- thats where you guys are -- everywhere and nowhere, but always here in my heart -- mmh kinda poetic, eh??
More about me...
When I was young...:
which i actually still am, but which i consider the time before canada -- i never expected that i could find something like i found over there!!
When I grow up...:
... grow what?? 
-- Then I'll hopefully think twice sometimes !
This week...:
- can't tell - is just as similar and different as any other 
I wish...:
that one day everybody finds what makes them happy! honest smiles are one of the most beautiful things in the world!
I believe...:
That if you Want, you Can!
I love...:
the sound of the waves of the ocean, especially at night when there's no one around, just the stars and the sea ~~
I welcome...:
... you guys -- either here or whenever you decide to come to Germany
Blog
DOTGU - and about meeting people again !!!
Day Of The German Unification !!
thats today - the third of october - October 3rd 1990 -- or '89 - but i think 1989 was the year when the "wall fell" and 1990 is - ah well
anyway - every year october the third we have a holiday cause we "celebrate" ONE germany - hahaha
lets be silent about the differences between the two parts that are still there - now after almost 20 years - different salaries, different unemployment rates - more freakin nazis in the eastern part -- well but we're happy - we have a free day !!
yesterday i went to my old highschool with a friend, the place where i spent 7 years of my life - we went there to see the building and some teachers !!
it was great - really nice !! we had a couple of nice conversations and were told to definitely return, maybe with a little more time - cause the teachers were busy of course !!
but it was great !! - last week i met inge - who i met in berlin the first time when we were at the EF preparation meeting - and with who i flew to vancity and with who i spent super nice times !!
and wednesday i met a friend who i havent seen for one year and with who i had studied math last year preparing for the exams ..
monday i met my old class teacher who i had for the last 2 years -- so days of meeting people again -- and i can tell you - also referring to when i met sam and floh and also when i went to canada again and met friends - its too great to see people again that mean so much to you - to feel the happiness in your whole body to just be happy to be there, to be grateful that you were allowed to meet them on your way through life --
i couldnt really see that when i returned from vancity the first time - but now 4 months later i can - i see that also here i have a couple of people that i can hug with honest happiness and that i am happy to see - its sad actually that there are certain people which make you forget that ..
today i am going back to fulda to finally start university on monday - life i am coming back 
i love you guys !! i miss YOU !
and lets be happy that nowadays there is one germany !! lol
which date is today -- ??
-- a date like any other for soo many people in the world. But today, the
26th of September 2008
is a special date.
For me and also for some other people.. Today one year ago the EF 9 months program 2007/ 2008 started.
And if there hadn't been enough prooves (!?) already, this date is THE evidence showing that this year in Vancouver, Canada, a year full of expectations, experiences, hopes, fears, friends, laughters, tears, meeting people, farewells --- that this year indeed IS over.
And even though I had decided to NOT feel bad today, because it's a day being the first step to 9 months that can't be compared to any other time of my life.. But well I can tell a lot..
Fact is that it's a day of memories and the not knowing if the tears are tears of sadness or of happiness or of both ..
15 weeks since i returned in June.. almost 4 months, time running just as fast as it did in Vancity, just with one difference: the memories still (too ?? ) present (sometimes) ..
But apart from all the whining - i want to THANK you all again !!
first of all, all those who stayed there with me from the very beginning, from the 26th of September 2007 until the end and who became friends that i could have never expected to meet !!
then of course to the TONS of people who stayed with me in my homestay from caro who i only knew for 2 weeks up to oppa and gus with who we stayed together for 5 months, yoshiko, soomi, vicki, bon .. adriana and alexe - our first "family", hitomi, satoko, gaspard, bernie, julie, yuki, maina, ....
and not to forget the people i met in school at work and in cambie !!
thank you for showing me that winters don't always have to be grey and dark, that there are people who love and accept me just the way i am and that i just love as much as i do and that i am happy to see and able to squeeze when meeting them full of happiness !!
i hope to see you guys again !! i miss you and i love you !!
P.S.: the people who are not mentioned by name - yes i mean you and you and also you and you you you you - not to forget you !! -- you know that i do not need to say your name to make you feel remembered !! - you're in my heart !!
Rain-ulda -- Ful-couver -- OR WHAT ???
oh yeah oh yeah - i think the weather god - assuming one exists - wants me to keep in mental touch with my beloved Vancity 
- sending rain and grey days -- well or its just a sign that summer is completely over and the ugly German fall and winter get going -- i am hoping for the first ..
4 more people by the way and i reached the 1000 visitors on my page !! 
-
i continued making my room a place worth living in :
and this one is above my desk under the shelves :
yahaaa !! and i already got some more ideas -- now i can just hope that this university course is the right for me, because otherwise .. otherwise i would have to give up a room (where i have to live in for one year at least - cause that's the contract --) where i feel comfortable in .. but well - no typical German - early judging !!
right now i am just looking forward to falling on my friends nerves - the one i visited last week already - it doesnt make a BIIIG difference going via her place so i was like "hey what about me coming to visit you?" her reaction "get here!" 
- "what about tomorrow ?? " - that was yesterday - so in 3 hours almost exactly i am gonna sit inside the train going to Halle -- haha u learnt that name already - eeeehm i mean .. i remember .. halle is internationally well-known, just as krummenau
well and apart from that - there is not too much to tell now .. i finished unpacking yesterday - more or less, but more "more" than "less" - hihi
okey dokey - i will finish packing my lil bag with way too much stuff (i SHOULD have brought a suitcase !!) and then get going soon !!
My Room - the first pics
yeap yeap - my room
for any further questions, call, send an email or come around
oh and i updated the halle entry and added 3 pics
I AM ARROGANT !!
YES I AM !! - we now have it black on white LoL
and now i dont feel like i have to hide it anymore - and f******, too, we are arrogant and now we dont feel that bad about it anymore !! NO!!
because in fact we have no other choice - we cant be anything else, but arrogant !!
cause never forget the fact : we are germans !!
and ask any swiss person for exaple they will all be able to tell ya they are arrogant !! and so we are !!
it feels good - no bad conscience anymore about being arrogant !!
an exerpt of F******'s and my conversation:
[...]
F****** says (05:33):
of course they know that you're joking, cos i'm the best!
Uti says (05:33):
german, eh ??
F****** says (05:33):
seems so.
Uti says (05:33):
tz typical arrogant attitude
F****** says (05:34):
hey, that's a good idea!
F****** says (05:34):
i'm arrogant, ok.
F****** says (05:34):
but i can't change it, cos i'm german!
F****** says (05:34):
that's a nice attitude, isn't it?
Uti says (05:35):
YAAA !! i LOVE that idea
Uti says (05:35):
we just CANT do anything about that !!
Uti says (05:35):
cause we have no choice !!
Uti says (05:35):
we are germans
F****** says (05:36):
right!
[...]
it feels good to be able to be honest
P.S. Considering that F****** might not want to be mentioned by his (OR HER ) real name i changed his name - but he just let me know that this was not nescessary actually, right, Florian ??
Fulda - ?!?!
so hey hey for the first time writing from Fulda - my new place !! - almost as famous as Krummenau
it was a super hard and long day and i am totally done and tired and i think i will break my habit of going to bed late right away --
so last night - sorry this morning we - that means my parents - had decided to leave home at 6am -- meant for me "weeeell THEN its soo not worth going to sleep at all and i decided to just stay awake - nice plan -- BUT -- exactly that night i was like super tired and decided to sleep for one and a half hours - the time of the decision ?? 3am so i put my alarm for 4.40 and 4.50 - and didnt hear that of course -
the first time i realized that my door was already opened and that my dad called - it was 5.40 -- well time to hurry and thanks to me we finally managed to be in the car at 6.15 - pretty good for me, eh ??
it took us 5 hrs to get here - not like 3 or 3,5 - because we had a HUGE trailer and a low power car
3rd floor -- and it felt like a thousand boxes .. and even though the two guys living with me helped a lot - we had to go several times !! - carrying pieces of wardrobes, the bed and the desk -- and ALL kinds of completely NECESSARY stuff .. hahaha - in fact it took us almost an hour to get everything up here --
and then at about 12.30 we started building the wardrobes and the bed -- with all the organizing and putting shelves and two pictures on the walls it took us until 6pm - including a lunch break .. so never ever a room without furniture - but well now i am in here and the room feels good - dunno if i will manage to still put pictures today - or take them - yeah the room feels good, but i dont know how i feel - sam once said to me that she kinda hoped to get a piece of vancity back by moving to brussels (well at least in that sense) - but it didnt work out .. and yeah i feel the same - i mean the two guys already know each other and also study the same thing - both of them have been here for one week already and are going out with friends - and i feel like - well i am the new person lol
and since i have never been THE party person like going to clubs, but prefer going to a nice bar and since germans are so nice .. oh too early to start complaining already - i should wait and just jump from party to party with them -- beeerk ..
but i feel closer to you guys and feel like i could leave right away - go to new adventures lol but well sooner or later i will always have to return here ..
i just miss you guys so crazily -- the last three or four days before moving were just so full of happiness - maybe because i was happily waiting for a change to come, but now i feel that if i am honest - i dont nescessarily want or need a change - is it too much to ask for my old new happy life ??
and least thanks to canada my expectations concerning living space and sharing kitchen is low -- but .. leaving the dishes in the sink all the time - a completely dirty bathroom ..
maybe i always need a completely bad feeling in the beginning to be able to finally enjoy it 100% --
miss you guys anyway !!
Getting older --
We don't stop playing, because we get older -
- we get older, because we stop playing !!!
(???)
one more reason to keep the child inside !! being who you are without needing to pretend to fit into our society - what a life must that be --
~~paralympics~~
today the 11 days lasting paralympics found an impressive end in china !!
11 days of sports - of competition - of fighting - of winning and losing.
but for me all of those competitors are winners !!
its incredible !! there are people who have one leg only running faster than i probably could, people without arms or legs swimming more endurant and constantly than i would, people bound to the wheel chair, people depending on others, people with stories, people who dont give up, people who believe in themselves, people who achieve things that many people having a full working body couldnt achieve, people i completely admire and congratulate !!
its amazing !!
and then i saw a 15 year old boy on TV today who had neither arms nor legs and who got an electric arm with the help of donations -- he could for the first time in his life do things like eat on his own and play chess and that was amazing to see - things that seem so normal to us and i think that we often tend to forget to appreciate !!
we shouldnt !! our body is a powerful machine and something so precious !! and we have so many chances and so many things to do !!
FUCKING SHIT - FUCK FUCK FUCK !! THAT IS THE THING I HAVE JUST BEEN TALKING ABOUT !!! i just said that the positive energy i have right now is rather a weak one that can be destroyed easily and not a strong long lasting one and BAM the whole text that i had written already GONE !! - just GONE ! fuckin shit -- and that happens to a person as impatient as i am - GRRRR !!
*BREATHE* -- now i will write the original headline :
IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY !!!!!
yeap if u believe it or not - THAT was my original title, before it died .. pfffff
oki but back to the topic lol
SO today's day was that perfect, because it was a PERFECT day where nothing was possible to destroy it - not even the stressed atmosphere i had with my fam for a moment !!
it was a day of smiling all the time and a day where you can feel that the sun IS just there even though at one time the clouds started hiding it and where you decide to jsut take off the jacket and walk around in tshirt only, because the summer is still fighting and someone needs to believe in it !!
it's a day where nothing could make it bad somehow, not the traffic, not the judging people where you feel like you always have to justify yourself, your actions, your appearance.
the only thing missing were you guys, people, friends to share this beautiful and the caused craziness with !!
it is amazing !! last night talking to one of my best vancity friends who i havent talked to in ages, having a sunny morning, knowing that somewhere there is somebody, going to the river the last time with my bro to say bye bye to it, to it, and a beautiful summer and a beautiful year, to the summer itself, because even though i would like to ignore it - the winter is coming, i feel it --
4 more days and i am moving and thinking of the first night in my new room, in my new bed just makes me feel happy !!
and then i was searching for a song expressing or underlining my thoughts and feelins of today and well even though i dont really like the music of that song, the lyrics just fit !!
Queen - It's a beautiful day
lyrics :
It's a beautiful day
The sun is shining
I feel good
And no-one's gonna stop me now
Oh yeah
It's a beautiful day
I feel good, I feel right
I feel good, I feel right
And no-one, and no-one, no-one's gonna stop me now
No-one's gonna stop me now
No-one's gonna stop me now, no, no, no
No-one's gonna stop me now
No-one's gonna stop me now
Yeah
No-one, no-one, no-one
No-one
Yeah
Sometimes I feel so sad, so sad
But no-one's gonna stop me now, no-one
It's hopeless, so hopeless to even try, to even try, to even try